


Passing Notes

by kagamoney



Series: VNCU (vocaloid non-cinematic universe) [1]
Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Mutual Pining, arsloid and fukase are related, arsloid is named after his voice provider, nonbinary flower, origin of fukase's scars are [REDACTED], post hospital fukase goin thru it with the new burn scars
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-24 18:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19729192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kagamoney/pseuds/kagamoney
Summary: Fukase's back at school after several weeks in the ICU's burn unit.





	1. Stalling

**Author's Note:**

> Please check series notes for any changes of canon not listed in the tags!

The sky was still dark when Fukase woke up. Time felt like something sticky, palpable and unpleasant; it felt like he hadn't fallen asleep at all, he had just blacked out. He ran his right hand—the only one with fully working nerves—across the grooves of the burn scars that lightly decorated one side of his waist. He rolled over on his side, feeling the warped flesh latch on to the sweat-stained sheets below him as he moved.

_Eugh._

He grimaced, unsticking himself from the mattress and groggily reaching for his phone. The bright LED screen stained his eyes with a harsh afterimage.

After squinting through his temporary blindness and seeing the screen read 5:02, Fukase groaned, deciding it would be both pointless and impossible to try to go back to bed. His bathrobe slid off the hook as he haphazardly reached for it with one hand and opened the balcony door with the other. As the morning air hit him, he tightened the robe around his waist and looked down to the quiet city sprawled underneath him. Everything around him was completely still. For Fukase, time had stopped.

He took a shaky breath, leaning on the cool metal of the railing. Daybreak had just started to creep up on the coastline, casting a cold, pale blue shadow over the rest of the city. A sense of uselessness overcame him as he looked down to the streets below. In the absence of any real substantial thought, Fukase felt a dangerous cocktail of apathy and anxiety, filling himself with the worst possible mental fodder. He had connections to everybody, but no one had come to see him in the hospital. He was always well-liked, even somewhat of a celebrity, but he never made any friends. Fukase was cryptic—something indecipherable, not something to be read. It didn't matter what his social standing was; no matter what, he was isolated. The clear air of early morning quickly went from refreshing to painful, scraping at the inside of his lungs.

_As long as I'm still breathing,_ he thought, _it's fine._

He took a much deeper breath as he stepped back inside, the sliding door clicking behind him. He felt himself going through the motions of his morning routine again (and without much reservation). His body was fed up with being grimy, it seemed, as a zombified Fukase dragged himself into the bathroom and turned the shower faucet on.

It felt more like a mental intermission (or maybe possession) than a real shower, but he emerged from the bathroom shaking the water off his hair like a dog. As he looked at the still-packaged bandages on his nightstand, he felt one sense of dread be replaced with another. It was going to be a very, very long morning, and he was far from being able to do it by himself. Fukase picked up the roll of gauze and walked down the hall to the kitchen to find his older brother making pancakes like he had done for him every morning beforehand.

"Help," he mumbled, placing it on the table, "please." Fukase didn't like asking for help in general, but he especially hated asking Akira.

Akira nodded, hastily turning the griddle off. He was just glad Fukase was speaking to him. "Take a seat."

As he sat down and slid the bathrobe off his torso, it became increasingly difficult to hide how awful he was feeling. Fukase was trying to keep his composure up just so he could avoid any mental prodding from his older brother, but he couldn't help how limp his body language was. They exchanged equally awkward expressions as Akira lifted up the dead weight that was Fukase's arm. He opened his mouth to say something, but Fukase's glare told him it was best to leave it alone. There was a long, quiet pause before Akira began to unwrap the gauze.

"Fukase..." Akira began, just as Fukase assumed he would, no matter how discouraging he tried to look. "You don't have to go back to school today if you aren't ready, there's no obli—"

"No," he interjected, with more force than there was volume, "I want to go to school."

Akira nodded. Fukase didn't usually speak in full sentences—he had always been quiet in general, but ever since he stepped foot in the hospital, he had been virtually mute. It was true that he'd speak more to Akira than anyone else, but even then, it was never more than two words at a time. Akira didn't push any further. It was up to Fukase, and Fukase was stubborn, especially when it came to something Akira said. If Fukase made the decision to go, he was going to go. "Uh," he cleared his throat, taping off the bandaging around Fukase's clammy hands, "I'm proud of you."

Fukase looked a little uncomfortable. His brother hadn't said anything wrong—they were both equally bad at handling affection. The only response he could muster was to cooperate with him as Akira finished up checking the tightness of the binds. Since Fukase was always short on words, this was how the two communicated: indirectly, but always understood.

His older brother closely examined his handiwork before he letting it go limp, allowing Fukase to twist and flex his now-bandaged arm. There was hesitation in Fukase's eyes. He wasn't sure how to feel, even if his older brother had done well.

"Do you want to look in the mirror? I did a pretty good job. I think you look cool, really."

Fukase sighed. He wasn't exactly thrilled to look in the mirror on any occasion; he was still adjusting to seeing himself with the burns.

"Fukase, please." Akira pleaded, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. His expression softened as he felt Fukase's posture stiffen. "You have to see yourself before you go to school. I don't want you to look in the mirror by yourself later and realize I did an awful job. It's best to get it over with and see how bad I did while I'm still in whacking distance."

The joke fell on deaf ears. He understood what Akira's intentions were, but Fukase's expression went unchanged. It had been the recommendation of the in-house therapist to avoid mirrors until he was comfortable enough to come to terms with what he would see. "Comfort" wasn't really what he was feeling, but just like anything else in his life right now, he didn't want to deal with it alone. Reluctantly, he nodded.

Akira dragged him to the bathroom, still holding the freshly bandaged arm. "What do you think? Do they feel okay?"

His older brother's grip loosened as Fukase began to inspect his arm more closely than before. The burns were well-hidden underneath Akira's heartfully crafted wrappings. You couldn't find a smile on his lips, but you could see it in his eyes. Any sense of relief quickly left his expression as Fukase's gaze went from his arm to his face. It was mostly normal—but the top left corner of his face was blotchy, almost warping his eyelids shut. Fukase put some force in the right side of his face, trying to open his eyelid wider to examine the damage. His eye looked like his iris had been completely removed, leaving a milky, watered-down shell in its place. He was used to only being able to see out of one eye, but he still wasn't used to seeing it in the mirror.

"... do you want me to get one of those square bandages to put over your eye for now? Just until you're ready to see it. And it's still not fully healed, too..." That much was true—the doctors said because of the severity of the burns, the skin on his face was still evening out. It wasn't going to be normal, but it was going to be more white than red, and for that, Fukase was grateful.

"Please."

Akira silently opened the medicine cabinet behind the mirror. Fukase was glad to get a break from sulking over his appearance. "I should get you the patterned bandages with Hello Kitty on them or something." Akira smiled, fiddling with the package before pulling out a single square band-aid. "What's the little devil Sanrio cat you like? Kuromi?"

Fukase squinted as his older brother lightly pressed on the bandage. _Akira was right,_ he thought, looking in the mirror, _the bandages do look kind of cool._ For his brother's sake, Fukase feigned a smile like he was posing for picture day before promptly dropping it in favor of his normal (and in his opinion, very cool, especially considering the bandages) brooding self. There was a pause between the two of them. Their eyes met in the mirror. Neither of them would admit it, but the soft look on their faces made it very clear: they were both feeling a little bit sentimental. Fukase squeezed his hand as a thank-you.

That was more than enough for Akira. "Take your time getting ready, okay? Just let me know when you want to leave. I'll be with you as long as you want me to be."

This time, Fukase really did smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lenkase next chapter... triple promise.


	2. Short of Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He gave Len his classic unreadable smile. It was soft and pleasant on the eyes, but you couldn't really tell what was going on behind it."

The murmur of the courtyard was noticeably louder than usual as Rin and Len strolled through the school gates. They slowed their pace and looked around for what could possibly be causing this much of a disturbance, but to no avail. Everyone was huddled together, deep in their schoolyard gossip, with their backs turned as if to hide something among themselves. The twins shot each other a look. 

Rin furrowed her brow, shifting her weight to the other side. "Do you see anything?" 

"... mm. Nothing exciting..." Len mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "We'll ask what's going on when we get to the table." 

The twins made their way over to the shadier side of the courtyard where Gumi and the rest of their friends sat. Gumi was sitting atop one of the outside lunch tables with her legs propped up on the seats. She popped her bubblegum and smiled to the two of them, waving lazily. As Rin put down her backpack on the ground next to Yukari (who was deeply immersed in her Animal Crossing town), she plopped herself next to Gumi. Flower nodded to Len from their spot on the grass across from the commotion that was Rin and Gumi. 

"Have you heard yet?" Gumi grinned, scooting to her left to make room for Rin. 

Len interjected before Rin could even open her mouth. "Heard what?" 

"Fukase's back at school. Anon and Kanon saw him sitting in the infirmary. Akira dropped him off, so they asked him where he'd been, but he just said they would have to ask Fukase." 

"Yeah, but everything they say is bullshit. All they do is gossip." Flower, who was commonly the reasonable counterpart to Gumi's ramblings and schemes, scoffed without looking up from their phone. 

"Hey! I believe it..." Gumi looked mildly offended, puffing out her chest and dramatically turning her head to the side. "Len's in his homeroom, so he can just text the group chat if he sees him." 

Len was the only person in the circle still standing up. He and Fukase were briefly friends at the very beginning of the year, but he hadn't seen him since then. Everyone assumed he had gone on some expensive overseas trip or some other rich person adventure, like dropping out to "find yourself" in India. Len didn't really buy it then nor did he buy it now, but that was a normal thing to hear about him. The rumor mill always ran high when it came to Fukase. 

Rin pursed her lips and watched Len stare off into the distance before interrupting the silence for his well-being. "Well... uh, where is all the gum coming from?" 

"I took some from last night's batch. My parents are focused on the mochi, so they won't miss any of the other candy. Do you want any?" Gumi unzipped her backpack and pulled out 4 full-sized packs of gum. “I have plenty." 

"No thank you," Rin mumbled politely, glancing back over to her brother. It wasn't uncommon for Gumi to take things from her family's candy shop, but it still made her feel bad. "Len, do you want some?" 

Len blinked, dragging himself back down to reality. "Oh—yeah, thanks. I'll tell you guys if I see anything." 

As Len pocketed a pack of gum from Gumi, the ten minute warning bell rang. Following suit with the rest of the courtyard, the Kagamines' friend group all rose from their seats and began going their separate ways to their respective classes. It seemed like the tension from the schoolyard whispers was easing as the cacophony of early morning small-talk got louder. 

"Len, we're counting on you!" Gumi yelled across the courtyard as she faced back to the twins, still stepping—almost bouncing—across the courtyard. He nodded in response, clearly only feigning a smile to be polite. 

It wasn't normal for Len to be this out of it when the Kagamines walked to class. The morning walk to class was a somewhat sacred time, second only to their morning walk to school. Len always tagged along with Rin to drop her off at her homeroom before heading (usually rushing, but he wouldn't tell Rin) to his own. He stared off into the bumble of students with a distant look on his face. For the second time that morning, Rin broke the silence for Len's sake. 

"Are you okay?" 

"Well..." Len began, pursing his lips. "I guess I'm just thinking about Fukase. I'm not going to claim that I knew him well, because I didn't, but I'm wondering what could've happened to him to keep him out of school this long." 

Rin nodded sagely. "They said he was in the infirmary too." She caught herself quickly as she watched Len's expression drop so slightly that only she was able to notice. "But we don't even know if he's really here, so it's probably not a big deal. He could've wanted to avoid seeing so many people so early in the morning." 

Len nodded back, but with much less confidence than his sister. He waved goodbye to Rin as she walked into her classroom, where Gumi could faintly be heard teasing Rin for arriving just four minutes after she did. "Shit," he mumbled under his breath, trying to simultaneously walk faster and check the time on his phone, "I'm gonna be late again..." 

The bell rang just moments after Len walked into class. He stopped in the doorway to catch his breath, but it was quickly knocked out of him as he looked up to see Fukase's distinct red hair. _So he's here,_ he thought, so relieved he only momentarily forgot Gumi's request, _but he doesn't look hurt._

Len quickly took his seat next to Fukase, who was turned to the window. He was trying not to stare into the back of his head, but he couldn't find anything to say. Trying his best, his voice left him quicker than his brain could catch. "Fukase!" 

Fukase turned his head to Len, but only about 3/4 of the way there, making an attempt at hiding the left side of his body. He gave Len his classic unreadable smile. It was soft and pleasant on the eyes, but you couldn't really tell what was going on behind it. 

Luckily for Fukase, Len was socially dumber than a sack of bricks. "I'm really glad you're here! I missed watching you fall asleep and eat papers you got bad grades on..." 

Their teacher tapped her podium, making both of them pretend to focus to the front of the room. As she began checking seats for attendance, Len had an idea. He ripped out a small (albeit shabby and misshapen) rectangular piece of paper and began to write on it before discreetly sliding it onto Fukase's desk. Fukase furrowed his brow, trying to figure out what kind of sorry excuse for an origami animal it was before realizing Len was trying to talk to him. He gently unfolded the piece of paper and began to read. 

_Where have you been?_

Fukase hesitated before scribbling below. Out of the corner of his eye, Len noticed that Fukase wasn't writing very long before folding it up again. The note made passage between them once again, and Len opened it with much more haste than Fukase had. 

_ICU_

Len looked up at Fukase, who was now turned to him. He quickly realized his assumption of Fukase being fine was very wrong. His eyes scanned Fukase, starting from his eyes to his fingertips. It's not like Len thought he looked bad—he just thought he looked different. You couldn't see a lot of the skin underneath the wrappings on his arm, but Len assumed it looked similar to the blotted red skin that was barely on his face. Len nodded (although he didn't know exactly what emotion he was trying to convey, he just thought it was rude to stare) and began to write back. He took his time choosing his words before quickly sliding the note back to Fukase, but it was met with a pause. Fukase took a deep breath and opened the note. 

_You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to,_  
_I know you're probably tired of hearing about it._  
_I'm here if you want to, but_  
_ヾ(*'▽'*)_  
_do you want to hang out after school?_

_____ _

Fukase smiled softly, almost as if it was to himself. This smile was much less ambiguous than the one from before. He passed it straight to Len instead of leaving it on his desk. 

_yes_

Len began to write, but something up higher on the page caught his eye. 

_ヾ(*'▽'*) (･_├┬┴┬┴_

Fukase had drawn a face poking out from behind a wall next to his doodle. Len's face scrunched up in a smile as he wrote back. 

_Meet me in front of the library_  
_I can catch you up on everything you missed lol_  
_don't fall asleep this time!_  
_I promise I'm more interesting than any of our teachers_  
_( ´ ω ` )ノﾞ_

As Len passed the note to back to Fukase, their teacher loudly cleared her throat while staring straight at their arms crossing the aisle. The rest of the class turned to them. Fukase turned to stare back at Len, looking for some kind of solution between the two of them. Len slowly turned his gaze from Fukase back to their teacher. 

The two faced the front, trying to act as if nothing happened. This seemed to be satisfy everyone in the room, but as soon as their teacher resumed listing off announcements, the bell rang. Everyone else in the classroom was eager to leave, but Len lingered by Fukase's desk as he watched him write one last response. Fukase gingerly folded it up and slipped it into Len's hand. Even though class had ended, Fukase was handling it with so much care that it still felt secretive. 

Len smiled—first at the note, and then Fukase. Respectfully, he took the same amount of care in opening it. Upon seeing no new lines of text, he skimmed the previous ones, squinting for something he could've missed. He was almost ready to come to the resolution that Fukase hadn't actually written anything before seeing one small addition: 

_( ´ ω ` )ノﾞヾ(・‿**)_

—but when Len finally looked up, a smile fresh on his face, he realized Fukase was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ┬┴┬┴┤･ω･)ﾉ  
> hope you're enjoying.  
> I decided there wasn't enough lenkase, so I wrote my own.


	3. Pressure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “As he put his phone in his pocket, he had one thing on his mind: he wanted to talk to Rin as fast as he could.”

Len's third period was always hell for him to sit through. It wasn't a bad class—English was actually his best subject, and Ms Avanna was the sweetest teacher he had ever had. There was one problem: it was right before lunch. He took a deep breath and glanced at the clock. It was 11:34—there were almost forty-five minutes left, but there was nothing for him to do: he had already finished his assignment, reorganized his color-coded notes, and counted all the ceiling tiles (twice). Len never checked his phone during class, but considering the situation, he'd make an exception.

He glanced at his teacher. She had her nose in a romance novel (entitled "The Madness of Duke Venomania"), and it didn't look like she was breaking her concentration anytime soon. Everyone else around him was either working or asleep. _She won't mind,_ Len decided. _It'll only be for a second or two._

Laying his forehead on the desk and looking at the phone in his lap below, Len unlocked his phone and checked his notifications: one from the English edition of Love Live, another one from the Japanese edition of Love Live, and 87 from the group chat he shared with his sister and their friends. He pressed on the most recent one and waited for Discord to load.

 **goomy** Today at 11:37AM  
idk if he will eat with us tho  
omg len is typing  
hi lenwe were jsut talking abt u _@make it double_

 **make it double** Today at 11:37AM  
Hi everyone  
Fukase is ok I'm hanging out with him after school

_[ Several people are typing... ]_

Len grimaced. He wasn't sure that was a good sign. 

**prepare for trouble** Today at 11:38AM  
FUCKING POG  
tell me about it when we walk home

 **flower** Today at 11:38AM  
...?

 **yukari** Today at 11:38AM  
??? How

 **goomy** Today at 11:38AM  
tell me fucking EVERYHTING about fukase rn  
wow even yukari said something  
are u gonna go to lunch w us

 **flower** Today at 11:38AM  
no  
he eats with me and yohio  
and piko and dex but they usually leave to go make out. I'm making lenjamin stay with us

Len had already started to type a more polite, roundabout way of saying "no", but Flower beat him to it. _Thank you,_ Len thought, quickly deleting the fragment of unsent text.

 **goomy** Today at 11:39AM  
wtffffffff len come eat with us jst this once dont be stoopid  
u did at the beginning of the year  
we r literally gonna be just across the courtyard just come gossip with us ur our little information man  
ur our man on the inside i want to know about the bandages  


There was a long pause in the group chat until Rin chimed in.

 **prepare for trouble** Today at 11:41AM  
u can tell me stuff when we walk to lunch together  
so u dont. have to type it all out rn.......... ur poor thumbs lolz  


**goomy** Today at 11:42AM  
okiiiiiiiiii  
thats fine  
ill b waiting  


**make it double** Today at 11:42AM  
sounds good  
I'm gonna put my phone away, I'll see you guys later  


Len locked his phone without waiting for everyone's goodbyes. Something in him felt guilty after reading how Gumi talked about Fukase, but he was going to hold his tongue until he knew what it was. Out the window, Len watched a storm begin to brew, sporadically pelting the window with raindrops. As he put his phone in his pocket, he had one thing on his mind: he wanted to talk to Rin as fast as he could.

The bell's ringing had come and gone minutes beforehand, but Len was just leaving his classroom. He wanted to see his sister, but he was definitely not feeling up to traversing crowded hallways. 

Despite his eagerness, Len was a little drained. The rest of the class period hadn't gone by quickly—it definitely sapped a significant amount of energy from him—but he was determined to stick it out until he had the chance to vent, even if everything seemed to be working against him. The fluorescent-lit hallway was beginning to give him a headache; the tile felt slick beneath his feet. The walls were lined with rows of lockers parallel to one another, cutting out any glimpse of natural sunlight or potential fresh air. Nonetheless, Len pressed through his nausea.

As Len made his way down the stairs and onto Rin’s floor of the school, the dim light from an overcast sky finally dawned on him. Rin’s hallway (which was thankfully lined with windows) almost felt like solace. Len, wrought with relief, used his last boost of energy to trot over to Rin. Her faraway conversation with IA was drowned out by the patter of an ending storm, but the conversation’s tone survived muteness—it was only small talk as she waited for her brother. Len watched IA stop mid-sentence and meekly raise a finger to him. Rin smiled politely and excused herself, waving goodbye to IA and jogging over to Len. Her distinctive white bow laid stubbornly atop her head as she moved.

As soon as Rin finished her trek, she wrapped her arm around him, reaching over to gently squeeze his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"I don't feel right talking to Gumi about Fukase," Len confessed as their gazes met. Their eyes mirrored irises of deep blue, but Len's were carrying a much heavier emotion.

Rin couldn't place exactly what he was thinking, but she could read the sincere concern in his expression. "I can talk to Gumi for you—"

"No, I'm not mad at Gumi, not at all. I'm..." Len shook his head, furrowing his brow. "I can't find the right words... I'm not mad at Gumi, I just feel bad for Fukase. Gumi wants 'information,' right? Everyone wants to know what's going on with Fukase, but he seems really lonely. I wanted to tell everyone about how we were talking with each other, but all Gumi wanted to know was what he looked like, and what everyone else wanted to gossip about. The only reason we knew he was here was because he was the talk of the morning. It’s making me really upset, even if it’s kind of unreasonable. I feel really two-faced." 

Rin sucked air through her teeth and lowered her arm. She couldn’t find anything of real value to say, but she tried to make it clear that she was listening as intently as she could. The rain had cleared up, leaving an absence of white noise in its place.

"I asked him to see me because he seemed like he needed it... well, it’s not like that was the only reason. I’m not just doing it because I feel bad... but I don’t want to come off like I’m just befriending him to turn on him... I'm sorry, I still don't have all of my thoughts together." Len sighed and adjusted his messenger bag. “Thanks for letting me ramble... what can I say, I’m a little dramatic.”

Rin nodded, letting go of him. She knew all she could do was listen—everything Len felt was always felt sincerely. It was true that he was only sulking; Rin knew he would be okay, but she also knew the depth of his empathy. "I’m always here to listen, you know that... I'll take care of Gumi, too. Try to cheer up, okay? You haven’t done anything wrong." She pinched his nose as a reassuring smile fell on her face.

“I knooow... I’ll be okay.” Len’s smile went up to his eyes as he shook his face away from her hand. Rin was always good at making him feel better. They waved a mutual goodbye and turned their backs, still stepping in sync. 

Unbeknownst to either of them, they were thinking the same thing: when Len saw Fukase later, he'd be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to rion and blaire for the proofreading (as always) + thanks for all the comments on chapter 2! They’re all really really appreciated. I’m really excited to finish writing the scene between len and fukase, but I hope you enjoy a kagamine chapter inbetween...! Len’s a little bit of a drama queen but he’s a sweetheart.
> 
> if u like mikurin... consider checking out [this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19796770/chapters/46869826) fic :3c


End file.
